Where Are You Christmas?

I've always loved Faith Hill... and Christmas.

But when I heard Faith's song "Where Are You Christmas?" for the first time (watching The Grinch) I thought to myself, what a depressing song during the Christmas season. It didn't make any sense to me why anyone would write a song like that and associate it with Christmas.

And then this year hit, and I have a whole new perspective on that song and mostly how the holidays can be so hard for some people. When I was reading the lyrics to the song I thought, this, THIS is how I'm feeling right now.

My family has been talking a lot about how we're all in this slump, or fog, or whatever seems to fit. Between losing Grandma, missing her terribly especially with this being our first holiday season without her, and now with Dad's recent cancer diagnosis, getting in the "Christmas spirit" is just taking some extra work this year. I'm having a hard time feeling that "magic in the air" feeling that I usually feel this time of year. 

 Even our 3 year old Elliana has randomly made comments like "Christmas is going to be really hard this year without GG."

Forgive me. The last thing I want to be is Debbie Downer or the Grinch. I have children and I'm determined to make this Christmas special for them. I know life has to go on and it will. This year I will find joy in the bright smiles of my kids, in their warm embraces, in the arms of my husband and the company of my many loved ones that are still here sharing life and their love with me.

I know as well as anyone what Christmas is all about, about celebrating Christ coming as a baby and coming to be God with us. So that is what's getting me through when I'm crying or down. God came to be with us then and he's with us today. He's with us and he knows how we're hurting and for me, that's how Christmas has a whole new meaning this year. In the midst of my pain, I will come and adore him because he came to die so that some day, we will be with him in glory and never have to feel pain again. Oh come oh come Emmanuel!

I leave you with the lyrics to "Where Are You Christmas?"

Where are you Christmas
Why can't I find you
Why have you gone away
Where is the laughter
You used to bring me
Why can't I hear music play

My world is changing
I'm rearranging
Does that mean Christmas changes too

Where are you Christmas
Do you remember
The one you used to know
I'm not the same one
See what the time's done
Is that why you have let me go

Christmas is here
Everywhere, oh
Christmas is here
If you care, oh

If there is love in your heart and your mind
You will feel like Christmas all the time

I feel you Christmas
I know I've found you
You never fade away
The joy of Christmas
Stays here inside us
Fills each and every heart with love

Where are you Christmas
Fill your heart with love

Hopeless Romantic

We're officially in trouble. Elliana at 3 years of age is in love-with being in love!
I'd like to say I don't know where she gets it from, but the truth is I was always a hopeless romantic growing up. I was always in love with love, and man, was I boy crazy (just ask my sisters)! I guess I have to admit that she's like me in this way.

Although I had these traits growing up, I never thought about what it would be like as a mom to watch my daughter blush and smile when it comes to romance. I'm already scared for what she will be like as a teenager.

Here's a little proof for you:

She loves Disney movies, but her favorite scenes are always the kissing scenes, the dancing scenes, and the wedding scenes. Those are the scenes she wants to watch over and over again.

Or even better, if I'm on the computer she'll ask to go to youtube and watch this video:

When I told her a few months ago that my cousin is getting married, she clapped her hands and jumped for joy. Then, with a big smile on her face, she asked "Are they going to kiss?!"

Every day when Caleb gets home from work Ellie and Ethan run (or crawl) to the door to greet him. After they give Caleb a HUGE hug, Ellie always, without fail, says "Daddy, kiss Mommy." And if that wasn't enough sometimes she tells him to kiss me longer or kiss me more.

The other day in the car I was listening to a CD Caleb made for me many years ago. The CD has a lot of our favorite romance songs on it. I assumed the kids would get wrestless after hearing one song but Ellie seemed to be enjoying it. She was smiling and dancing along to the music in her carseat. Then Michael Buble's "Everything" came on (This song always takes me back to Courtney's wedding because Courtney and Jeremy played this song along with their slideshow).

Anyway, Elliana was listening to and enjoying this song. When it was over she said "Mommy! I want that song again. I want the kiss song again." Now she always refers to that song as the "kiss song" and requests it often. She only likes to listen until the line "And I can't believe that I'm your man and I get to kiss you baby just because I can", then she wants to start the song over again. Ha!

I could go on and on with stories, but you get the idea. Now I just pray that we can teach Ellie to guard her heart and to save her kisses for when she's really in love - and not until she's 30. ;)

Every Move I Make

As I've mentioned a few times before, this song has been Ellie and Ethan's absolute FAVORITE for some time now. Every time it comes on, they can't help but "dance" or at the very least get in a better mood.

I've really been wanting to catch their reaction to it on video and I FINALLY did! I know you won't enjoy watching this as much as I do (since I'm their biased mom), but I hope you enjoy it some. :)

I mostly love how you can see the difference between boys and girls on here. Ethan stops to "dance" briefly in between throwing the ball around and screaming, and Ellie never stops twirling and "dancing". Love these kiddos of mine. :)