I Can Feel it in the Air

Over the Last week or two I've noticed that it's been slightly cooler in the morning. I can sense that Fall is on it's way. I feel almost giddy because Fall has always been and always will be my favorite time of year.

I absolutely LOVE everything about Fall. I love it when it's just cold enough outside to need a sweatshirt or light jacket, cooking (and eating) hot soups and chili, the fall colors, fall decorations, pumpkins, the sounds of the leaves cracking under my feet, watching football on Sunday afternoons (go Broncos), watching my husband's volleyball team, hot cider, Thanksgiving, I could go on and on.

Needless to say, I'm SO excited that this time of year is just around the corner. This is the first Fall I'll get to experience with Ellie and I can't wait to see it through her eyes. Here's to the next few months!

A Dream Come True

"You are not responsible for the How". -Beth Moore

Have you ever had one of those moments when you just knew God was speaking directly to you through a pastor or speaker? I had one of those moments just a few weeks ago during our bible study. Let me give you some background.

I've always wanted to have children, and praise God, after a long struggle, God made that dream come true. I always had another dream that went hand in hand with having children. I always wanted to be a full-time stay at home Mom once children came into the picture.

From the very beginning, before Elliana was ever conceived, Caleb and I had many discussions as to if we could afford living on his budget alone. A few years ago we sat down and put together a budget. At the time we discovered that these three things could not happen together: we could not own a home, I could not even work PART-TIME, and he could cot continue teaching at the school he loves. At the time I wasn't even pregnant. So, we prayed about it and decided we would revisit the budget later on.

Last spring (2008) we decided we were ready to buy a home. That was around the same time that I found out I was pregnant. We looked at the budget again and discovered that we could afford to buy a home and that Caleb could continue teaching where he wanted to. However, we still could not afford for me to be home full time. We were encouraged to see at this time that I could work part time though. I was a little disappointed but thankful that if I had to work it would only be part time.

So, we found a home within our budget and moved in last fall. Elliana was born in December and I was on maternity leave for 3 months. I loved those 3 months. Yes, Elliana was a very challenging infant. She cried all the time and almost never let me put her down. Still, I cherished every day I had with her and dreaded going back to work. I cried and cried the night before I returned to work in March.

The day to return came and went and I found myself getting used to the new routine of working part time. Everything was working out well until the first week of June came. My boss pulled me into her office and explained to me that my schedule of working Monday through Wednesday was not working for her or for the office anymore. I explained to her that I was not trying to be difficult, but I simply could not work Wednesday through Friday. It was a daycare issue for us and nobody was available to watch Elliana Wed through Friday. So, she offered for me to work in a new position. Again we prayed and decided it was our only choice since we still could not afford for me to be home full time.

I started the new position in July and soon discovered that I didn't care for it very much. Okay, actually I really did not like it at all. Somedays I was so stressed out. Still, I pressed on knowing this is what I needed to do to help make ends meet. All the time I was praying for God to rescue me. Either help me find another job or provide a way for me to be home full time. Some nights I would be up most of the night thinking about how this would all work out. I became more and more stressed because I wanted so badly to either find a new job, or find a way to work from home, or just get to be home full time.

Then, one saturday morning in our Esther bible study, Beth Moore said the words "you are not responsible for the how". She was explaining how God always has it worked out already and he works in ways that are unexpected. Of course she was referring to Esther's situation, but I felt like God was speaking directly to me and I felt a sense of relief come over me. I realized at that moment that I didn't need to stress about the situation. It was in God's hands and he's never failed me before. It would all work out one way or another.

Less than two weeks later Caleb called me at work and said "Christine, I have great news"! He went on to explain that his school had just gotten new health insurance and we could afford to put the whole family under his new insurance and save hundreds of dollars a month. (before we were going to have to spend about $600 a month for health insurance for the 3 of us)Finally! We could afford (almost) for me to be home full time! There is still a very small gap in our budget between what we need and what we have. However, the gap is growing smaller all the time. We have been saving for so many years that we are very comfortable using our savings accounts to get by for a long time (several years). I am confident that we will be fine and that God will provide one way or another. Who knows, in a matter of time, there may be no gap left at all.

I notified my boss this week that I will be quiting. The conversation went well and I told her I would stay as long as she needed me to (within reason of course). She asked me to stay 6 weeks and I agreed. My last week will be the last week of September. As excited as I am, leaving my job feels like leaving a major part of my life. I have been working at my job for 8 years. I was only 19 years old when I started working there. I was so young and single and living with room mates. I have literally grown up while working there. I will miss so many people but I am so excited to start this new chapter in my life. I still can't believe that God opened this door. Someone pinch me.

On a side note, here are some pictures of Elliana and her new favorite "toy", the laundry basket:







P.S. Ellie started saying "Mama" this week. I doubt that she knows that word is my name and relation to her, but I like to think that she does. :)

This Daughter of Mine

Since Elliana is going to be 8 months old tomorrow, I've been reflecting on my life with her so far. I can't believe she's already 8 months old! Where does the time go?

It seems like just yesterday I was pregnant. I loved being pregnant (before I got huge and uncomfortable). I loved feeling her move inside me and smiling every time she got the hiccups inside of me. I loved it when we found out she was a girl and we had already picked out the name Elliana. Caleb and I started referring to my baby bump as the "Ellie belly". Sigh, everyone tells you how quickly it's going to go but you never really understand how quickly time really does fly until you watch one of your own grow and develop.

I remember very clearly when people would ask me what I was looking forward to the most when it came to having a baby and being a mom. I would always reply, "I just can't wait to watch her personality develop and to learn who she is going to be".

Little did I know that God would give me a daughter with SO much personality! I don't know what I expected, I guess I expected that she'd be a lot like me and Caleb. Or, I expected her to be like my niece Devyn. Quiet, shy, sweet Devyn. However, as I watch Ellie's personality come out, I'm learning she's almost the opposite of me and Caleb so many ways.

For example:
We were both the easiest of our Mom's children (according to our Mom's of course); She was very high maintenance in the beginning. She cried all the time and never let us put her down.

We're quiet; She is VERY loud. Just watch the video below.

We're both introverts. I'm even shy at times; She is SO social! She loves people and smiles at everyone she makes eye contact with.

We're content to be still; She never stops moving!

I'm cautious; She's fearless.
I could go on and on.

Maybe it's because Caleb and I are both middle children, and she's our first born? Who knows. It's like people always tell us, she's going to stretch us and challenge us in a way we've never known before. My mom always tells me that she's going to break us out of our shell.

Either way, she's crazy but we love her more than words can say and we're so thankful to have her in our lives. She keeps us laughing all the time. As challenging as she can be at times, I'm so thankful God didn't make her just like me and/or Caleb. Our home wouldn't be nearly as fun or full of life as it is now.
Happy 8 months baby!

Here are some of our latest pictures of Elliana enjoying her bath.

I think someone didn't want to get out.

Our Story

Caleb and I met in high school through our church youth group. In high school we were only friends. We became much closer friends when all of our other friends moved away for college and we both got involved in our church's college and career group. My feelings for him started to change when I realized that I was feeling jealous when other girls were interested in him. During that time God opened my eyes to show me that Caleb posessed every quality that I had been praying for in a husband. Caleb is kind, thoughtful, funny, romantic, a strong Christian and leader, etc. He's an amazing man and I feel so blessed to be married to him. We began dating in February of 2003. We dated for 2 1/2 years and we were engaged in October of 2004. We had a 9 month engagement and got married on July 2, 2005.





After being married for a little over a year, we decided to start trying to get pregnant. We knew it wouldn't be easy for us to get pregnant because of my PCOS. Our time of trying to get pregnant was very hard for us. After trying for almost a year, a long year of many tears and prayers, we finally got pregnant. Unfortunately we lost that baby 1 week after finding out we were pregnant. We took some time off and then started trying again. About 6 months after the miscarriage we found out we were pregnant again in March of 2008! I was much more scared this time around, but I prayed and relied on God's word daily to get me through the pregnancy.




After a long, mostly easy prenancy (praise God) Elliana Faith was born to us on December 14, 2008. We chose the name Elliana because it means "The Lord has answered our prayer". We chose the middle name Faith for two reasons. One, Faith is the name of the church where Caleb and I met and are still members today, and two, because of our faith in God.

Elliana with her Daddy on her birthday.

Elliana with me when she was 7 days old. This was at my sister Courtney's wedding.


Our new family.

Caleb and I have both said that the time that we had to deal with my infertility, miscarriage, and pregnancy was the closest we've ever felt to God. We also grew much stronger as a couple. It was a hard time, but it brought us so close to God and made our relationships with him so much more real. We strongly believe that he is faithful and that his word is true. That is why I chose this title for my blog. We don't know what the future holds for our family, but we know we want to face the future walking closely with our Lord, and trusting him.