Thursday, April 21, 2011

A Little Honesty

Please understand before you read this that I KNOW in my heart and in my head how blessed I am to have my two beautiful babies. It's something I've always wanted and I love them more than words can say.

That being said... this last week or so has been tough. I mean very tough. I knew that the transition to two kids would be hard, and truth be told it's been slightly easier than I had feared, but I'm struggling with this phase right now.

I'm struggling with the fact that it's a miracle if I get a shower in and it's an even greater miracle if I'm able to get out of the house with all 3 of us dressed, fed, and happy.

I know this phase will pass all too quickly and I'll be wishing my son was a newborn again, but right now I feel guilty that Elliana isn't getting the attention she needs and deserves because I'm spending SO much time nursing.

Again, I am SO thankful for my babies but I'm longing for some "me" time. Just a little time would help.

I know this is just a phase, a short lived one, and in a few weeks I won't be nursing Ethan for half of my day and just trying to survive every moment. I'm so looking forward to his smiles, his coos, and to watching his relationship with Elliana grow. I'm also looking forward to taking the two of them to fun activities and to the park and to all of the fun memories that are ahead.

Until then, my days are filled with being at home, squeezing in showers when I can, nursing most of the day, and trying meet Elliana's and Ethan's needs as best as I can.

12 comments:

Lauren said...

It is sooo hard! Going from 1 to 2 is the toughest transition I think. Not gonna lie -- some days I would load my 20-month-old and newborn in the car and just go for a drive with a Sonic drink and some peaceful music. No crying, no toddler fits...... (who am I kidding? I still do this now that they are 4 and 2 and have an 8-month-old sister!!) You know all the answers -- it is a phase. Just know you're not alone!

Olga said...

awe.. girly. hang in there! I know it can be overwhelming at times, and you can feel guilty of not giving baby number 1 the attention you want to give her, but she will be just fine. She knows and feels yours and daddy's love. Also, It's something new to her too, a new transition, but once little man gets older they will be best of friends and they will entertain each other, and they wont want to be apart! And... like you said it will go by fast! It doesnt feel like that now since there is so much going on, but it will. Give yourself some "me time" too! =)

God bless =)

Jenn @ Munchkin Land said...

I love you. And I think you're amazing. Hang in there! This too shall pass and someday this will be an old hat to you too.

Becky said...

I don't have any sage advice, but I do know that you are a very strong woman and that you'll get through this rough patch! You're going through a major transition right now and it will take some time before you settle comfortably into this new life. God is good and will get you through this. Remember to lean on him when you feel like you're struggling, He'll get you through! Love you Christine!

Courtney said...

Just keep focusing on what a great mom you are to those kids!! Ethan will be growing before you know it and in the meantime... Jeremy and I will take Elliana if you guys need a break for a night. Let's plan it.

aggiejenn said...

Christine, I know this feeling all too well! I had PPD after my second and I just kept wondering how in the world other people manage to have more than one kid and do anything. It was the hardest time in my life. Don't feel guilty about the attention your older one is not getting. Just do what you can. You will all survive and Elliana will not suffer long-term consequences! (I know because my then 2yo who watched way too many cartoons during that time is almost 6 and doing just fine.) :-) Just love the best you can and ASK FOR HELP from others!!!

Jillian said...

Honey I wrote this post a couple months ago:) I just went from a family of one to a family of two three months ago and it was so hard!! The emotions you are feeling are totally normal. Praying for you, it will pass!!

Leah said...

You are awesome, and doing an awesome job! Don't be so tough on yourself. You do the best you can, and that's more than enough. : ) Your kiddos love you and you will get through this!

Anonymous said...

Christine-
Adjusting from one child to two is hard....you are doing an amazing job, honey!! These days WILL get better, and Ethan will be growing and changing before your eyes!! Try to take in each day, be easy on yourself, and let others help!! Praying for you, hon.
I love you, Mom

Amber L. said...

Hang in there girl. I remember feeling desparate when I was left home alone with Tayden and Milo. It was rough for awhile, but then they became best friends, and life actually got easier than before I had two. Now we are stuck home on Easter morning with Milo sick. I'm just glad Tommy is here. Motherhood is definitely a bid sacrifice, but so worth it as you know. You have the most beautiful kids by the way. So cute. Happy Easter.

Jessica said...

I, too, had many of your same feelings & emotions when I went from 1 to 2. It is hard to find that new 'normal' & get into the groove again being a mommy to 2. Hang in there. I promise it gets much, much easier. (((Hugs)))

Dareth said...

Christine,
Thanks for your honesty in this post. Transitions are tough. You are right, it will get better. Until then, just keep doing the best you can. Your kids are awesome and happy. You are doing a good job.

I just had to learn that for a season, showers had become a luxury in my life :)
Love you, Dareth

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I am a daughter of the King. Saved by grace. Follower of Christ. I love my God and I believe that he is faithful and true to his word! I'm still figuring out and trying to follow his plan for my life. I am a wife to my best friend Caleb, a mother to my miracle babies (they are my greatest joy and challenge), a sister and best friend to 3 passionate women, and a daughter to 2 amazing parents that continue to teach me what it is to be real and faithful to God and his word. I am lucky to get to be a stay at home Mom (thanks to God's provision). I love music, singing, coffee, cooking, baking, traveling, our beautiful state of Colorado, and mostly being with the family and friends that I love!

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Caleb is an amazing husband and father. He is always so good to me. He is my best friend. He is the romantic one. We love to laugh and spend time together. We've been married for 7 years and I just love that I get to spend the rest of my life with him.

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Elliana Faith... God blessed us with our first miracle little girl in December 2008. She is sweet, smart, spunky, funny, strong willed, precocious, extremely outgoing, vocal and so full of life! She brings us so much joy.

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Ethan James,.. God blessed us with our little boy in March 2011. Ethan was a bit of a surprise and an even bigger miraclle. Ethan is ALL BOY! He is very active, into sports and running around. He is also sweet, introverted, affectionate, and laid back. These days he often has us laughing, he's starting to show a little bit of "clown" in him. He makes our hearts happy too. :)

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Emsley Jeannette... Our surprise baby girl was born on June 11th, 2013 and came into the world 4 weeks early. Her first 2 weeks of life were spent in the NICU, but due to God's hands and the prayers of many people, she grew quickly and came home to join our family! She is an easy, sweet baby and we are enjoying getting to know her personality.

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