I never knew how totally unprepared I was for this huge piece of parenting.
I had a very good idea of what to expect with a baby. Sleep loss, nursing (although this was harder than I expected too), feeding, changing diapers, bathing, playing, snuggling, etc.
I'd say the first year went almost exactly as I expected.
Then, Elliana turned one. Now all the things we had been told about her, and noticed about her, had become a whole new challenge.
Even as a two week old baby, the Dr. said, "Wow this one has a strong will". Or at her most recent Dr's appointment, I was told "She sure likes to be in charge, doesn't she"?!
And so, she does! She's always been determined and strong-willed. I can't change that about her. However, I have no idea how to bend her will towards God. How am I going to help her use these personality traits in a positive way?
I won't lie, it's been a battle the last few weeks. Elliana and I have had some really tough "fights". I have so many stories that I could share. I'll save those for another post, another time. I keep thinking to myself, "this child is only ONE! It's going to be a long eighteen years".
Please don't get me wrong. I love my daughter more than I can express. I wouldn't trade her for anything, or anyone. She is what we've prayed for and wanted for so long.
I also know that God hand picks each child for each set of parents. For some odd reason, he thinks Caleb and I have what it takes to raise her.
I just hope that she turns out to be a kind, loving, sharing, well-mannered, child/adult that loves God and wants to do his will for her life.
On the other hand, this girl is funny! For every struggle and bad story, I have 50 hilarious stories. This girl is such a character! She keeps me laughing and smiling all day long. She's so animated... and smart!
Just today at lunch she started "hiding" her food underneath her highchair tray (as if I didn't notice) and then she looked at me and signed "all done".
(Sigh) ...it is going to be a long eighteen years, but I'm determined to enjoy each and every one whether I'm crying or laughing. I'm sure I'll be doing a lot of both. ;-)
8 comments:
I totally understand how you feel. I find it so much harder to discipline Susannah than Isaiah and she is very strong willed/defiant too. She'll do something just because we said no. It takes lots of trail and error to find what makes each kid obey and lots of time and repetition. It is hard work day after day. We'll keep praying for you, it's never easy. And that's why we love them so much!
First of all, great new pictures of the two of you. It's been too long since i've seen Ellie and she looks like a different baby everytime I do.
Second, Chris you are a GREAT mom and you're right. God chose YOU for Elliana. You guys are both going to learn from each other. Maybe God wanted to teach you to lay down the law more or be more aggressive in life. Especially when it comes to your sisters. ;)
ohhh I empathize with you! I love my child, but have accepted that she's kind of a brat! she's sassy and it's one of my favorite qualities of hers, but when she's in a mood... watch yourself! she really only tests me though, not so much Justin. I'm so lucky. It's hard figuring out this parenting stuff now that you have to actually PARENT instead of just be one, if that makes sense. ohhh I wish we lived closer and could laugh over stories at lunch while our babies wreak havok... )
From the mama of one strong willed child to another, (genetics are srtong in this one! HaHa) I find the one who needs the most discipline are you and Caleb. Stick with it, and you will find the way that fits you all best. But trust me, she'll be watching for any sign of weakness so stay firm! :)
I remember Conni Tricarico chuckling at me when Katie was a baby. She knew then how strong-willed Katie would be. Katie still pushes and tests the limits everyday and she's almost six! We've found that we have to limit our rules to the important things and not fight over everything. Our, or maybe my, biggest struggle is being consistent with those rules and the stated discipline with them. If we keep everything consistent, she ends up being a much happier child. You can do it! The strongest ones are often the most entertaining ones too!
P.S. You should check out the book "The Infertility Cure". I just started doing some of the suggestions in it and have already started feeling some changes going on in my body.
That is a beautiful picture of you and your girl!
And, as I shared, I feel your pain. Some days are more frustrating than others. But when I hear my girl singing songs to the Lord, I just know that I have to keep doing my best and God's grace will cover the rest.
You are a great mama and she is one happy little girl!
Hang in there! I know God picked you two for a reason. You and Caleb are so patient and loving. You'll do great! I'm glad I'll have someone to ask for advice once Aaron gets older!
I love reading your blog! Your love for God, Caleb, and Ellie is evident through all your sharing. I can tell you from experience that God is so faithful in giving you what you need to raise your children. Just continue relying on Him and pouring your heart out in the joys and struggles. Love, Mom H.
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