I don't know why I've hit such writers block lately, but I just don't have a whole lot going on right now. So I'm stuck doing another "random" post.
I touched on this subject a little bit in my previous post, but I've had a really bad week where this subject is concerned and I just need to get a few things off my chest. I can't believe I'm about to be this honest or vulnerable, but it's just driving me up a wall right now. I am fed. up. with. my. body. I realize I could always try harder, but I feel like I'm trying pretty darn hard to improve my body right now. I know I said I'm not a good dieter, but by no means am I sitting around eating fast food and junk food. I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables, lean meats, whole grains, and I try to keep my dairy to a minimum. I do let myself have dessert from time to time (maybe I need to cut that out), and I rarely eat red meat. Plus, I really am exercising on a regular basis. So why am I not thinner? I feel like I would have to eat nothing but celery and drink water to be smaller at this point.
Where is this coming from? A few bad comments from my nieces on both sides of the family (they're only 3 and 5 years old and they don't know any better), and a bad shopping trip today. Does anyone else get depressed when shopping for clothes? For the record, I don't hold anything against my nieces. It's like they say, "kids are honest". I guess this will always be an ongoing struggle for me. I. will. not. give. up! I'm sorry about the venting. Again, I just needed to get it off my chest. Whew! I feel better now. I can move on.
Onto a more positive subject, Elliana continues to make us laugh. We always say that she is the BEST thing that has ever happened to us. Last night we were eating dinner with Caleb's parents and carrying on in conversation. Ellie was trying to get our attention and inform us that she was "all done". I honestly did hear her the first time, but just kept talking. As we kept talking, Ellie just got louder and louder saying "all done" over and over. Finally, when she realized she wasn't getting through to us, she screamed "ALL DONE"!! Loud enough for all of us to stop mid-conversation, and just laugh. Maybe you had to be there, but it was SO funny!
I'm finished with work, for now. As I was leaving last week, I checked in with my boss and she said she might ask me to come back and train again in a few weeks since she's expecting another new employee. The experience/job has been perfect really. They've been really flexible with me in terms of hours, and I was only putting in about 10 hours a week. Sounds like I may be asked to come in and train on a regular basis. This could be a great/ perfect fit and answer to prayer. I'll only work for about a month and then get a month or so off. God is so good.
Elliana and I had a wonderful day. The weather has been gorgeous lately, and I plan on taking full advantage of it. Today Elliana and I went on a very long walk and spent a long time at the park. She actually went down the slide by herself for the first time today. Somehow she got twisted around and ended up head first, but when she reached the bottom of the slide she smiled and said "more"!
We don't have a lot going on this week and I couldn't be more happy about that. Our last month has been crazy busy, to the point that Caleb and I have become desperate for a night at home. Sounds like this will be the week that we get some R&R.
Once again, I'm mad at myself for not taking more pictures. I've been really bad at taking the camera with me. I'm going to work on this. Hopefully I'll have lots of pictures to show on my next post.
Since I don't have any pictures of my own to share, I stole these from facebook to share on here. Ha!
This picture was taken about 9 months ago. I can't believe how much Elliana has changed in that short time.
This was taken of our family on Easter. It's now one of my favorites.
5 comments:
I can relate with you on the losing weight problem. It's my goal to lose 10 lbs this year and it's been much harder and taking longer than I thought it would. I've been taking it a step at a time....I gave up my lunch treat, which was very hard for me to do. I figure I need to make changes that I can keep so when I get used to giving up one thing and then I think about what else I need to do. I used to get much more exercise than I do now, so I'm trying to fit more of that in..I walk almost every day, but I'm trying to add some running into my schedule. I'm guessing that the medication your taking doesn't make it easy either. I really think it helps to just make changes a step at a time. I figure they will add up in the long run.
Your family Easter picture is so cute.
Julie
Chris, I think you are being too hard on yourself. I really do. What did Devyn say to you?
So... I didn't even get all the way through your post and I'm feelin' your heart BIG time. This whole PCOS thing sucks! You HAVE got to try that diet I did. (www.yourhcgblog.com) This is the first time ever that I've felt hopeful about being able to reach a good weight in my whole life. 30 pounds in 30 days. It sucked sometimes but it worked BIG time.
On the whole pregnancy thing... I know we've talked before about it and you know I didn't have any luck with the Clomid. I contacted the fertility acupuncturist in Fort Collins last week. She took my history over email and gave me her recommendations the same way. She recommend I go back on the Insulite system. She said it would help us girls who have healthy eggs but hormonal imbalances because of PCOS. I don't know if I ever told you about it? I started again today. You should check out their website. If nothing else, they give a lot of information about some of the underlying causes of PCOS. (www.insulitelabs.com) I got a period on my own after one month of taking their natural supplements. You know how crazy good those results are!
Sorry that was SO long. My heart my prayers are with you right now! Lots of love and prayers for you and your journey!
~Andrea
Hey Christine! I read your post and my heart goes out to you. Losing weight is so tough! One thing that sometimes helps is to add weights to your routine. Sometimes when you reach a pleatu adding weight lifting gets you un-stuck and losing weight again. Doesn't have to be anything crazy, even just hand weights at home. You will be in my prayers.
Christine, you are BEAUTIFUL!
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