No, I don't think I have postpartum or any other form of depression. I just think I'm in some sort of funk. Not a blogging funk, just a funk in general.
Perhaps it's the fact that my mom and sister had to put down our beloved black lab Zeus last week. I won't pretend that I was the closest one to him, but I did love him quite a bit too. You couldn't help but love Zeus. He was the most loyal, loving and gentle dog I've ever known. It's like my mom said "He just had the sweetest spirit and you always knew he'd be there whenever anyone needed him." I think it's all that and the fact that Zeus was our last connection to our childhood years. My whole family misses him terribly.
Another thing that's been bothering me for some time is my battle with my weight. After Elliana was born, my weight practically just fell off of me. I really didn't work that hard. I gained the EXACT same amount with Ethan and it has been a much bigger battle to lose my baby weight.
It's not that I haven't tried. I've worked REALLY hard. I'm talking going to the gym and working out 5 days a week. The weight was coming off and I was feeling very encouraged, but over the last week or so the weight loss seems to have really slowed down, maybe even stopped. :( I've lost 9 pounds since beginning to work out (32 total since having Ethan) and I'm still 7 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight. I already had about 15 pounds that I wanted to lose before getting pregnant. Ugh. Sometimes when I look at my overall weight loss goal I just get overwhelmed. I am convinced that losing weight is one of the hardest goals to accomplish.
I really wanted to look amazing for my sister Alli's wedding (which is going to be in about 4 weeks-yay). Since this is the last wedding for our family, I'm sure my parents will be putting up lots of pictures and gosh darn it, I want to look good! Is that too much to ask? Oh well. I'll just do the best I can I guess.
The other thing that's kind of getting to me is our schedule right now. Caleb is back to teaching and coaching Volleyball. He LOVES coaching Volleyball and I've always enjoyed going to the games and supporting him in that. This year it's a little harder than that though. It's the first year that I've been a stay at home mom of two little ones. When you're taking care of two little ones for 12+ hours a day and you only see your husband for a few short hours in the evening, it becomes exhausting!
Don't get me wrong, I love my babies more than words can say. I just feel like I don't get any "breaks" right now.
I'm not worried though. I'm sure in a few short weeks I'll be back to my upbeat, positive self. After all, we have a lot to look forward to in the coming months (wedding!). And fall has always been my favorite time of year! I'm just figuring out how to adjust to these long days with my beautiful babes and settle into a new routine.
I promise my next post will be more exciting. ;-)
5 comments:
First off, I really like that last pic of you and Ellie. I think she is starting to look more like you the older she gets.
Second off, remember when you were scared that you weren't going to love ANY of your pregnancy weight right after you had Ethan?! Look how far you've come since then! It's not going to be fast but it will eventually happen if you keep working out and eating right.
And third, I've been in a major funk this week and I know it's because of Zeus. I've been going to bed by almost 7 or 8 every night this week. I just have no energy and I'm having a hard time getting into "wedding mode" for Alli. Hopefully this weekend will help with the appointments. Are you coming to those?
Ok... longest comment ever. I think you can tell I haven't talked to you in a few days and have a lot to say. Call me!
*** love = lose by the way =)
Just want to give you a bit of encouragement! 1) Um, you're only 7 lbs. away from your pre-pregnancy weight and you've lost THIRTY TWO pounds since Ethan, that's AMAAAAZING Christine! Give yourself some credit sister, you're doing great! Plus, I think you look incredible, so keep up the hard work, it's definitely paying off, even if you hit a plateau.
2) I think funks can be a good thing sometimes, it helps us appreciate the joyful times even more. I think we can learn a lot about ourselves in our funks...
3)Taking care of 2 little ones at home all day is HARD WORK! You're doing awesome! Volleyball season will be over soon enough...=)
Love you friend! =)
Please, please, please let me take Elliana for you for a day. I know it isn't a total break! Email me sometime and we'll set something up! I am pretty free in september!
P.S. I think being that close to your pre-pregnancy weight already is amazing. Be encouraged! But also know, you are not alone! I agree with Becky, sometimes funks are what you need, though they are not fun!
Praying for you!
the same thing happened to me re: weight after babies were born. The weight literally melted off with Bella, I barely tried to do anything and I was back to high school weight, it was insane and completely unexpected.
I assumed the same would happen with Austin... nope. nine months after he was born I still wasn't at my pre-pregnancy weight (and I was really trying - running, lifting, everything!) and then I got pregnant again and haven't been allowed to work out at all. Needless to say, I'm pretty sure I have an uphill battle ahead of me...
so know that while I've ALWAYS thought you're one of the most beautiful people I know, I understand the frusration. You're golden though Chris, try not to stress too much about it.
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