Friday, July 20, 2012

A Heavy Heart

My heart feels heavy. For so many reasons. My sister Jenn has a similar post explaining everything, but I wanted to share my thoughts on all that has happened this summer too.Colorado has endured a lot this summer. First there were the fires that seemed to keep popping up and showing no sign of slowing or stopping. Now today, we all woke up to sad and disturbing news that a sick man had open fired on innocent people sitting in a movie theater just watching a movie.



You never forget days like today. I remember where I was when I heard the news of the Columbine shootings when I was in high school. I remember where I was and how I heard about the news of the twin towers on 9-11.

The hard part today was having to try and find words for my very inquisitive 3 year old Ellie as she asked why I was glued to the TV and looking so worried. It was very hard for me when she said "Mommy, you said there are no REAL bad guys!" (she was referring to how I try to take away her fears after watching a movie with a "bad guy"). I hated trying to explain to her that yes, there is some real evil in this world. Of course I explained that God is bigger and that he watches out for and protects us, even in times like this. Still, I hate that I even had to have that conversation with her.
My heart breaks for all of those affected, and we'll be praying for the victims, their families, the emergency personnel and Dr's and nurses.

Then there's the matter of my personal loved ones. Nobody I know personally was affected by the shootings. I'm just referring to some real, hard issues going on with those I love right now. My grandma and her health is a huge heartache right now. My aunt and uncle that know they have very limited time (days or weeks at the most) with my uncle's mom. Close family and friends that have been praying, trying and praying and trying some more to start their families, to hold a baby of their own in their arms. A heartache I know all too well from when we walked our own infertility journey. I hurt for these women in my life. I know I can't say or do anything to make their pain go away. I can only pray for them.

Caleb introduced this song to me years ago. It reminds me of how God holds us even in the midst of asking him where he is. I hope this song brings comfort to anyone that may need it right now. To my loved ones, I hope I can be there for you in any way you may need me.


I keep going back to this bible verse that just happened to be the verse on my calendar at home for the month of July:

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you... Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27

Thank you Lord for your peace. I don't know how I'd make it through this life without the hope we have in you.

2 comments:

Mariel Collins said...

praying for you and your family and your beautiful state! May the Lord bless you all with peace and rest in Him! Don't forget our Father has already CONQUERED the WORLD!!

Courtney said...

I agree with so much of this. I can't believe what a hard summer it has been both personally and with our state. One of the most difficult times we've ever had. :(

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I am a daughter of the King. Saved by grace. Follower of Christ. I love my God and I believe that he is faithful and true to his word! I'm still figuring out and trying to follow his plan for my life. I am a wife to my best friend Caleb, a mother to my miracle babies (they are my greatest joy and challenge), a sister and best friend to 3 passionate women, and a daughter to 2 amazing parents that continue to teach me what it is to be real and faithful to God and his word. I am lucky to get to be a stay at home Mom (thanks to God's provision). I love music, singing, coffee, cooking, baking, traveling, our beautiful state of Colorado, and mostly being with the family and friends that I love!

Husband, Caleb

Husband, Caleb
Caleb is an amazing husband and father. He is always so good to me. He is my best friend. He is the romantic one. We love to laugh and spend time together. We've been married for 7 years and I just love that I get to spend the rest of my life with him.

Our 1st Miracle

Our 1st Miracle
Elliana Faith... God blessed us with our first miracle little girl in December 2008. She is sweet, smart, spunky, funny, strong willed, precocious, extremely outgoing, vocal and so full of life! She brings us so much joy.

Our 2nd Miracle

Our 2nd Miracle
Ethan James,.. God blessed us with our little boy in March 2011. Ethan was a bit of a surprise and an even bigger miraclle. Ethan is ALL BOY! He is very active, into sports and running around. He is also sweet, introverted, affectionate, and laid back. These days he often has us laughing, he's starting to show a little bit of "clown" in him. He makes our hearts happy too. :)

Our 3rd Miracle

Our 3rd Miracle
Emsley Jeannette... Our surprise baby girl was born on June 11th, 2013 and came into the world 4 weeks early. Her first 2 weeks of life were spent in the NICU, but due to God's hands and the prayers of many people, she grew quickly and came home to join our family! She is an easy, sweet baby and we are enjoying getting to know her personality.

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Sisters
We fight one day and then the next day we're fine. We're always loud and crazy when we get together. We're very passionate. We've been through it all together, lots of ups and downs. We're eachother's biggest supporters.

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