Austin & Friends

This past weekend Caleb, Emsley and I flew to Austin, TX to visit one of our favorite families!

I mentioned in a previous post that Joe, Caleb's best friend, moved his family to Austin about a year and a half ago and it's the longest we've gone without seeing them. 

I only wish I had more pictures from the weekend, but of course we discovered our camera was dead as we were rushing out of the house to make it on time for our flight. There was no time to charge it. :( Any pictures you see of us on here are courtesy of Kim. 

We flew in late Friday night (midnight in Austin) but that didn't stop Caleb and Joe from playing games until 2 AM. 

It's always so good to see these guys reunited. :)

This picture was taken many years ago, long before Caleb and I were married.

The weather was GORGEOUS (upper 60's and low 70's) and made me even more anxious for spring to arrive here in Colorado.

Saturday Joe and Kim took us to The Salt Lick, a famous BBQ restaurant that has been on The Food Network. It was an awesome place. It's one of those restaurants that isn't just a restaurant, it's an experience. 

They have fresh squeezed lemonade, a winery so you can go and sample wine while you're waiting to be seated (no matter what time of day you go, you can expect to wait a minimum of 45 minutes), 

lots of land with outdoor picnic tables, an outdoor small stage for live bands to come and perform, 2 large fire pits and a playground for kids. 

The food was to die for! It was such a fun experience!

Other than experiencing The Salt Lick, we just spent most of our time enjoying being together.

We drove through and around Austin, seeing where Joe works and learning all of the Austin hot spots. 

In the evenings after the kids were down we spent our time watching the Olympics and playing lots of card games and board games.

Sunday we visited their ginormous (but awesome) church with them and then went to get donuts and coffee.

Really, the best thing was just getting to talk for long periods of time. Even though Joe and Caleb were the original friends, Joe's wife Kim and I have become great friends too. I have an enormous amount of respect for her and really just "click" with her. She is such a genuine person with a huge, servant's heart. She's one heck of a mama too! 

Their boys are the same ages as our Ellie and Ethan so it was fun spending time with them too. They are seriously the sweetest boys!

 This is our Elliana and their Ben 4 years ago when they were our only children. :)

We finally got to introduce the newest members of our families, our Emsley and their Madison.  

These sweet baby girls are only 2 months apart in age. Emsley is on the right in case you can't tell. ;-)

We headed home on Monday morning. As much as we wished we could stay longer, we were also ready to see and hug Ellie and Ethan. 

It's so crazy to me how much our relationships and families have grown over the years. I can't for the life of me figure out how we don't have any pictures of the 4 of us because we've done so much together! 

Anyway, we had such a fun weekend and it was hard to say goodbye. I can't wait to see these lovely faces again. You can bet we won't let so much time slip by next time!

What is IF:?

My sister Jenn loves her some social media (and that's an understatement). Because of this, she is often in the know about a lot of things that I am completely unaware of. Sometimes this is a good thing, sometimes it's not.

For months, maybe longer she had been so excited and talking a lot about this IF: Gathering conference she heard about on social media. Again, I had no idea what she was talking about. And to be honest, I really didn't like or understand the title of "IF". The funny thing is/was, even those that knew a lot about the conference didn't actually know that much. There weren't many details going out other than the fact that there would be this big conference with big Christian speakers (none that I had heard of) and anyone that heard about it wanted to be there. It was being held in Austin, TX this past weekend.

When tickets went on sale the conference sold out in minutes (1200 tickets to be exact) and Jenn was very disappointed. Then she heard about their plan to stream the conference live so that people all over the country could have IF: local gatherings and they could be a part of the conference too. It didn't take Jenn long to decide that Northern Colorado had to be a part of this. She felt a strong urge that God was asking her to be the one to lead and organize the local event for and with us.

When she asked who would help her plan, I agreed not knowing at all what I was even helping with. I just jumped on the bandwagon because I'm her sister and that's what we do. We help with things like this. ;)

All I knew was that I've been needing something like this. I didn't care what the topic was, because let's be honest, I didn't understand it. I've just been in a place of feeling spiritually dry and thirsty. Due to my busy schedule as a stay at home mom of 3 young ones, spending days and weeks inside avoiding the freezing cold and nursing sick little ones back to health, having little to no time to myself for bible studies, and mostly due to being without a church home at the moment (another post for another time), I needed this.

So, back in the fall Jenn put together a group of 6 women to plan for this IF: thing. I don't want to get into the details of the planning and the having to re-think and re-plan many things because this post would become a novel, but I just want to talk now about how it all actually impacted me this past weekend.

It.was... I actually don't have one word. It was moving, awesome, incredible, beautiful. It was just what I needed. The group ended up being much smaller than we originally thought or hoped, but in the end, I thought it was perfect. I don't think it was a coincidence that we had the perfect number of seats at our tables. The group was the perfect size. It was just enough to feel like we had a good turn out and just small enough to really be able to open up to one another.

I don't know what I loved more, the amazing speakers (I'll get to them), or the discussions at the table. We discussed deep and honest things with each other like our biggest fears, dreams, and how God has worked and is currently working in our lives. We talked about what it would look like if the church was unified, in every way.

We had a little help on how to get these conversations going with the IF: conversation cards. ;)

When it was all over we went from being complete strangers (some of us) to being great friends.

As for the speakers, all I can say is WOW. In my personal life I've only read and heard mostly from Beth Moore and maybe a handful of others. Probably because my mom is a HUGE Beth Moore fan. ;) I had no idea there were so many more amazing speakers out there, and that so many of them were in our age group (30 somethings). They each spoke to me in a new, fresh way and some even had me tearing up as I felt like God was speaking directly to me through them.

I have a handful of new favorites now and I hope to do their Bible studies in the future. Here's some of my new favorites:

Christine Caine

http://www.christinecaine.com/

Rebekah Lyons

http://rebekahlyons.com/

And Jen Hatmaker

http://jenhatmaker.com/

And although these two weren't "speakers" per say, I really enjoyed the interviews/ testimonies of Melinda Doolittle and Kristin Armstrong. 

To be perfectly honest, I'm still not crazy about the title "IF". BUT, it was an incredible weekend! I feel like it started a new spark for me in my walk of faith. I can't wait for the next gathering!

Our God Is Greater

Again, I apologize because this will be old news to anyone that follows my sisters on social media. This is a big deal though, and I couldn't not put my own thoughts into words on my own blog.

I wish I had a chance to blog when my feelings were more raw and true, but we've had one of the craziest weeks and this is the first time I've had a chance to sit down and blog.

Our family got bad news on Monday. I mean heartbreaking, world shattering news (our world anyway).

Remember, 2012 has not been kind to my family or to many of the loved ones around me. There have been deaths, miscarriages, fires, divorces, I could go on and on. Of course the most earth shattering and heart breaking event to effect my family was the loss of my Grandma Nancy after being diagnosed with cancer only 30 days prior.

We hoped and prayed the worst of heartaches were over. We were wrong.

Monday, after months of postponed and rescheduled appointments and biopsies, we finally got news about my dad's health. News we didn't want to hear and certainly didn't expect. He was diagnosed with prostate cancer. I can't even tell you how surreal it is to say that my dad has cancer.

It's one of those words that you always shake your head to and apologize to whoever it is you may be talking to going through the journey. You just never think it will effect you so closely. Not one of your loved ones, not one of your parents.

You would think we would have learned that lesson from losing Grandma this past summer. Unfortunately, that word has come back to put us on our knees once again.

I made plans to catch up with an old childhood friend for Tuesday morning long before I remembered that we would get the results to Dad's biopsy on Monday. Tuesday morning I got a message from this friend saying "I just heard the news. I'm so sorry. Do you still want to meet today?" I assured this friend that I did still want to meet with her. Especially since she knows me, she knows my dad, and she is a woman of strong faith and she believes strongly in the power of prayer. This is a friend that called me to pray with me the day she heard of our first miscarriage. She prayed one of the most amazing prayers and I instantly felt better after praying with her.

For whatever reason, this friend and I have grown somewhat apart over the past few years. Not for any good reason other than life has gotten crazy with both of us raising our little ones. But we ran into each other on Halloween night and made plans to reconnect over lunch, and soon.

I believe that God had us schedule this lunch/playdate for the day after the news for a reason. She shared with me that her mom had gotten a tumor a little over a year ago and how hard that time was for her as she waited for test results and then as she waited to hear treatment options and eventually helping her mom during surgery and recovery from surgery. She shared with me that she understands all of the emotions that come with news like this. But then she said something that really stuck with me.

She said "Don't give the word cancer too much power. Don't let it scare you. Our God is greater than that word." I took these words to heart and I believe they are so true.

I've spent the last several days processing this info and going back and forth from being okay to not okay. I go from telling myself, this is fine, Dad will be fine. He will fight this with God's help and he will be just fine. But then, honestly, I do have my moments of crying, of telling God that I can't go through it again. That I can't lose Dad the way we lost Grandma.

There is a silver lining in all of this. The good news, we caught the cancer early. We don't know exactly what the plans of treatment are for Dad yet, but we know we'll be fighting right alongside him. He has a large number of family and friends that love him and are praying for him to be fully healed from this. In the end, God is the great physician and he is greater than ANYTHING! All we can do is lean on his word and his faithfulness, pray, pray, PRAY and believe he will carry us through this, one way or another.

I love you Dad!

 

P.S. Thanks once again to my incredibly talented sister Jenn for designing another beautiful Christmas design for me. My blog was in need of a new look and I LOVE this design! If you're interedted in putting some holiday cheer on your blog, check out Munchkin Land Designs.

A Season For Healing

I can feel Fall coming. The nights and mornings have been a bit cooler in recent days. Autumn/ Fall has always been my favorite season. I love fall for it's bright colors, delicious flavors (chai latte or pumpkin spice latte anyone?), warmer cute clothes, the coolness in the air, the feel of leaves crunching under your feet, apples, pumpkins, hay rides, corn mazes and of course Thanksgiving.

 

This year Fall means so much more to me though. It means the end of what was a very painful season for myself and many people that I love. I discussed my heavy heart on here about a month ago. At the time I had no idea things were going to get much, much worse for some of us.

I'll give you just a small picture of the pain that I'm talking about. Nearest to my heart is the loss of my beloved Grandma Nancy. Our family continues to feel the pain of missing her. Although each day has been a little easier than the one before, I have yet to go a day without crying (even a little) and almost every thought leads me back to her.

Then there's the pain of my friends and family. In our small couples group from church, we have a close friend that lost both of her parents in a tragic accident two weeks ago, and we have friends that are facing some serious illnesses with their children.

I have a sister and some dear friends that have been walking through the valley that is called infertility. Everybody's journey with infertility looks different, and while my journey was very short lived compared to many, I do know how painful it is. I know what it is to lay awake at night and wonder if you will ever get to become parents. To hold your own child in your arms. I have been praying for these loved ones for months and for some, years. I still trust that God is faithful, and that he does have a plan for each of these families, but sometimes it's so hard to understand what he's doing.

I posted this as my status on fb the other day: "And just like that the school year has begun and summer is over. I've never wanted a summer to end so much. Praying/hoping this Fall brings us a fresh start and healing to hurting hearts." This is my prayer. Please Lord, use this time to draw us closer to you and bring some healing to broken hearts.

 

Of course this summer wasn't all pain and sadness. We had some great times too. I just wanted to share some of our happier moments in pictures. :)

Ellie had her cousins Devyn and Reagan over for their first sleepover at our house. I woke to these 3 smiling, beautiful faces.

 

When they were getting dressed they all wanter to wear dresses and headbands to match. You've got to love little girls. ;)

 

And then there is my two babes. Elliana and Ethan. They are my biggest challenge and greatest joy. When I look at these photos, I see two kids that love eachother greatly and have fun playing together. Most of all, I see two kids that are growing up WAY too quickly.



Isn't it odd how sometimes we want time to stand still, and other times we welcome the changing of the seasons? I do know this, God holds all of it in his hands.

 

A Heavy Heart

My heart feels heavy. For so many reasons. My sister Jenn has a similar post explaining everything, but I wanted to share my thoughts on all that has happened this summer too.Colorado has endured a lot this summer. First there were the fires that seemed to keep popping up and showing no sign of slowing or stopping. Now today, we all woke up to sad and disturbing news that a sick man had open fired on innocent people sitting in a movie theater just watching a movie.

You never forget days like today. I remember where I was when I heard the news of the Columbine shootings when I was in high school. I remember where I was and how I heard about the news of the twin towers on 9-11.

The hard part today was having to try and find words for my very inquisitive 3 year old Ellie as she asked why I was glued to the TV and looking so worried. It was very hard for me when she said "Mommy, you said there are no REAL bad guys!" (she was referring to how I try to take away her fears after watching a movie with a "bad guy"). I hated trying to explain to her that yes, there is some real evil in this world. Of course I explained that God is bigger and that he watches out for and protects us, even in times like this. Still, I hate that I even had to have that conversation with her.
My heart breaks for all of those affected, and we'll be praying for the victims, their families, the emergency personnel and Dr's and nurses.

Then there's the matter of my personal loved ones. Nobody I know personally was affected by the shootings. I'm just referring to some real, hard issues going on with those I love right now. My grandma and her health is a huge heartache right now. My aunt and uncle that know they have very limited time (days or weeks at the most) with my uncle's mom. Close family and friends that have been praying, trying and praying and trying some more to start their families, to hold a baby of their own in their arms. A heartache I know all too well from when we walked our own infertility journey. I hurt for these women in my life. I know I can't say or do anything to make their pain go away. I can only pray for them.

Caleb introduced this song to me years ago. It reminds me of how God holds us even in the midst of asking him where he is. I hope this song brings comfort to anyone that may need it right now. To my loved ones, I hope I can be there for you in any way you may need me.


I keep going back to this bible verse that just happened to be the verse on my calendar at home for the month of July:

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you... Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27

Thank you Lord for your peace. I don't know how I'd make it through this life without the hope we have in you.

Monday Miscellaneous

Once again I find that I have gone far too long in between blog posts. What can I say? It's summer and we've been crazy busy!

First of all, I have to mention that today Caleb and I are celebrating our 7th wedding anniversary! Yay us!! I won't say that our marriage is perfect. In fact, in some ways this was a growing/ stretching year for us. Adding Ethan to the family brought on some stress (and with that some fighting). However, I can honestly say that I love Caleb more today than I did 7 years ago. He is still my best friend and the person that I tell everything too. I would marry him again in a second! And to be honest, we've had a lot of fun making up for all of those little fights. ;) We are going to our favorite restaurant, The Melting Pot tonight and I can't wait!

This past weekend I had a wonderful time going with my Saturday morning bible study group (and even some more friends and family) to a Beth Moore conference in Colorado Springs. We had a group of about 14 women. Honestly, I hesitated to go this year and I am SO glad I went! It was an amazing time! The conference almost didn't happen due to the fire that was burning in Colorado Springs. Thankfully, the decision was made to still have the conference and God took full advantage of that time. I think many people heard the Holy Spirit through Beth's words.

Of course I had fun enjoying great worship and some girl time, but more than that I was really spiritually refreshed and I heard God speak to me about several things going on in my life.

The overall theme was about finishing the work God has laid out for us. Although the overall theme didn't hit me personally, some of her key points did.

One of the things she talked about was about new beginnings and finishes to certain seasons in our lives. She talked more about the end (or finish) of tough seasons. This really resonated with me. Lately my faith has been a little ho-hum. I'm not struggling on a serious level at all, I just haven't felt God's presence as strongly as I usually do. I've spent countless hours praying for some friends and family that are struggling with various things, and I have yet to see any of these prayers answered. I'm not angry or upset but I have found myself asking God where he is in these situations. This past weekend I really sensed that God was and is near to not only me, but that he's also very much in control of each of these situations I've been praying for. I feel like my season of feeling spiritually dry is over. I also very clearly heard God tell me that these tough seasons for those I love are coming to an end too. Very cool!

Another key point she made was that "You're not completing if you're competing". Ouch! I won't go into too much detail about this because you never know who's reading, but I was seriously convicted on this one! For months I have been subconsciously competing with another believer. God spoke clearly to me on this one and basically told me to cut it out and deal with it. Beth even went a step further and challenged us to not only stop competing with our brothers and sisters in Christ, but to cheer them on. This won't always be easy, but I'm going to work on this.

It was a wonderful weekend and I am SO glad I went! Here's a few photos from the weekend that I stole from my friend Becky.

Speaking of growing in my faith, I don't know if I mentioned this on the blog or not yet, but Caleb and I recently left the church that we both grew up in to find a church closer to our home and community. The decision was very bittersweet as we love the church we left very much. We continue to love this church and the people in it.

But, that being said, we are beginning to get attached to our new church and we are loving it! The sermon on Sunday was SO good! I'm excited to see what God has in store for us as a family and also as individuals here.

These next week are going to be fun and full. We have lots of people and places to visit on the 4th, both of our moms celebrate their birthdays this week, and then the countdown will begin for my cousin's wedding. I'm very excited!

Also, we just got some professional photos back from our trip to San Diego. My sister-in-law Amanda has a friend named Andrew Ruiz that is a professional photographer and lives in SD. He did a great job! I can't wait to share more but here's just a few of my favorites:

The Bachelorette

Did you think I was going to talk about the show? Ha! I have admitted before that watching The Bachelor and The Bachelorette is one of my guilty pleasures.

But, that's not what (or who) this post is about.

My dear sister Allison is getting married in just 6 short days (it's coming up so quickly now). Isn't she gorgeous?!



Both Jenn and Courtney (the other sisters) have posted about how this wedding is somehow different. Somehow bittersweet. It's getting all of us choked up for many reasons.

First of all, Alli is the last sister to get married. It's like closing the final chapter to our childhood. It's made all of us very nostalgic lately. There have been many conversations in recent weeks talking about our childhood. The things that made us laugh, the hard times, the many ways we saw God's hand working in our lives, both individually and as a family.

That brings me to the second reason this wedding is a little more emotional than the previous ones. It's a long story and I'll really try to summarize it for you. Alli became anorexic in her early teens. She was very sick, in and out of hospitals and she got down to a scary 58 pounds at one point. We thought we were going to lose her.

Although it sounds strange, her sickness saved our family. After it was obvious that the hospitalizations weren't doing anything for Alli and her eating disorder, she was sent to Remuda Ranch, an inpatient center that specializes in eating disorders out of state. In order for Alli to be fully recovered and free to return home, a week of family counseling was required.

It was one of the most intense, hardest weeks of our lives. We cried. A lot. We watched our Dad break down many times. Our parents marriage was saved because of that week of counseling too. SOOO much healing came from that week.

And after a couple long months of being at Remuda Ranch, Alli was healed. For good!

Now, 13 years later, Alli is living a happy and healthy life. And praise God, she's getting married! We are all SO thrilled for her and her fiance Brian.

Alli's bachelorette party was last night and we had a wonderful time! We started out at a martini bar in Old Town. At first it was just the 4 sisters and our very close friend Annie who we often call our 5th sister. Annie lived in our neighborhood and grew up with us. She was always with us. :)







After the martini bar, we walked to my favorite restaurant of all time and had dinner at The Melting Pot. I would say that was the best part of the night. ;-)



We played a fun game where we each had to buy Alli some panties and she had to guess who bought which one. She did amazingly well.



We were joined at dinner with 3 of Alli's close friends. There was 8 of us total. At first I thought that sounded like a really small bachelorette party, but it turned out to be the perfect number. We were really able to have great conversations because we all fit perfectly around the table.





We talked and laughed a lot. It really was the perfect bachelorette party.



I'm so glad Alli had such a great night honoring her. I praise God that Alli is where she is today and that he brought Brian into her life. I just know her wedding is going to be so beautiful and sentimental. I think there will be plenty of tears shed on Saturday. The good kind. :)