Thursday, November 15, 2012

Another Journey Of Faith

I hate the waiting game. I hate wondering if news is going to be good or bad. I mostly hate being inside my head, going back and forth convincing myself that the news is either good or bad based on how I'm feeling at the time.

It's moments like this that I know my faith always has room to grow. I believe that God IS sovereign, and in the end, he deserves praise and glory no matter what journey he decides to take us on, whether we're going through a valley or standing on top of the highest mountain.


I'm always awed by the fact that Job was able to say "“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” (Job 1:21) after he had lost everything. I long to have that kind of faith

I'm sure by now you're thinking, what the heck does any of this have to do with Christine? Well, I'll just come out with it. Almost 3 weeks ago I got a positive pregnancy test! Yes, Caleb and I were trying, but I was not on clomid (fertility drugs) like I had been when we were trying to get pregnant before. We had only been trying for 3-4 months and I had an appointment at the end of October to ask my Dr. if I should get back on clomid. Due to the fact that this happened so fast and without drugs, I was shocked, and overjoyed! When I sit back and think about how far we've come from the day I was diagnosed with PCOS almost 10 years ago, I am in awe of how God has moved in our lives to have a family.

I'll never forget what my father-in-law said to me that night when we told him and my mother-in-law about the pregnancy. He put his arm around me and said "Welcome to another journey of faith." At the time, I thought that was an odd response to a pregnancy announcement, but in the following days and weeks I came to understand exactly what he was saying.

Getting pregnant and raising kids is a constant journey of faith. From the moment you see those first two lines telling you that you're carrying life inside of you, you have to trust and lean on God. Trust that he'll carry you and your baby through the first days, weeks, and months of pregnancy. Trust that he will give you a healthy baby and delivery. Trust that that baby will grow to be a healthy child. Trust that he will protect that child from the evils and dangers of this world.

I've lost 2 babies before (I'm thankful that if it had to happen, it happened really early in my pregnancy). Because of this, the first days, weeks and trimester are SO hard for me. It's a constant battle in my mind convincing myself that everything is or is not okay. I dry myself (and my closest friends and family) CRAZY! I feel like God has taught me a very valuable lesson this time around, and I have a whole new peace.

Have you seen Courageous? If you haven't, it's a very moving movie, you should check it out. I kind of stole one of the themes from that movie when I was thinking about the what ifs with this pregnancy.

I have to be thankful for every day that there is life. Every day that my family is together and healthy. I'm thankful that I have 2 healthy kids and that today, I have a baby growing inside of me. :) I have to believe in faith that God knows what's best for me, for Caleb, for my children and all of my loved ones.

Up to this point, we've gotten great news! We had an ultrasound yesterday and we got to see one beautiful, beating heart! We are so excited and thankful! I am a little over 6 weeks pregnant and am due July 9th. We hope and pray that God will carry this baby full term and that we'll welcome another little brother or sister to the family for Elliana and Ethan this summer.

Since we got such a great report from the Dr. and ultrasound yesterday, my Dr. doesn't need to see me again for another 4-5 weeks. I'm not used to this. I know I've been spoiled with my past pregnancies, but I'm used to having ultrasounds every 2 weeks throughout the first trimester. Caleb says this is going to be good for me, to not have that constant reassurance that everything is okay, to just pray and trust that God is taking care of our baby. I hate to admit it, but I know he's right.
I don't know what the future holds, but I trust God and his sovereignty. I have peace knowing that he's on this journey of faith with us. I'm thankful that he's given us another life to trust to him. Praise God!

I just want to add, that I have very dear friends and family that are on their own journey of infertility. They don't know yet how their story ends. Caleb and I have committed to pray for them daily. If you think of it, please pray for them. Women struggling with infertility has always been near to my heart.

12 comments:

Stephanie Dean said...

Congrats! Prayers for you all on this journey!

Sarah said...

Congrats Christine! I'm so happy for you guys:). and I WILL join you in prayer for those struggling with infertility. They are close to my heart as well!

Kelsey said...

I am so overjoyed for you! What a big blessing and answer to prayer!

Mandy Rose said...

I'm a friend of Jenn's! Such wonderful news! Congrats to you and your family!

Barbie Murphy said...

Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow!! I will be praying for your journey of faith as well as for those couples we know who struggle with infertility.

Courtney said...

Yay baby!!! I'm so excited for you guys and my future niece/nephew. What a blessing :)

Connie said...

Yeah!!! I'm so excited for you!

Dareth said...

I am overjoyed for you! Love you.

Elle said...

God is so good! Congratulations!!! :)

Kendra said...

Wow! What a huge blessing!!! I will pray for peace for you as you progress through the pregnancy, especially this first trimester. I continue to pray for those struggling with infertility; I pray that your family's story is one that encourages them on their journey, since you struggled with infertility too.

Malisa said...

Congratulations, Christine! This is such amazing news. I will definitely be praying for you and your growing baby. And, for those that struggle with infertility. I can't imagine the pain and frustration that those women endure.

Christina said...

So happy for you !

About Me

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I am a daughter of the King. Saved by grace. Follower of Christ. I love my God and I believe that he is faithful and true to his word! I'm still figuring out and trying to follow his plan for my life. I am a wife to my best friend Caleb, a mother to my miracle babies (they are my greatest joy and challenge), a sister and best friend to 3 passionate women, and a daughter to 2 amazing parents that continue to teach me what it is to be real and faithful to God and his word. I am lucky to get to be a stay at home Mom (thanks to God's provision). I love music, singing, coffee, cooking, baking, traveling, our beautiful state of Colorado, and mostly being with the family and friends that I love!

Husband, Caleb

Husband, Caleb
Caleb is an amazing husband and father. He is always so good to me. He is my best friend. He is the romantic one. We love to laugh and spend time together. We've been married for 7 years and I just love that I get to spend the rest of my life with him.

Our 1st Miracle

Our 1st Miracle
Elliana Faith... God blessed us with our first miracle little girl in December 2008. She is sweet, smart, spunky, funny, strong willed, precocious, extremely outgoing, vocal and so full of life! She brings us so much joy.

Our 2nd Miracle

Our 2nd Miracle
Ethan James,.. God blessed us with our little boy in March 2011. Ethan was a bit of a surprise and an even bigger miraclle. Ethan is ALL BOY! He is very active, into sports and running around. He is also sweet, introverted, affectionate, and laid back. These days he often has us laughing, he's starting to show a little bit of "clown" in him. He makes our hearts happy too. :)

Our 3rd Miracle

Our 3rd Miracle
Emsley Jeannette... Our surprise baby girl was born on June 11th, 2013 and came into the world 4 weeks early. Her first 2 weeks of life were spent in the NICU, but due to God's hands and the prayers of many people, she grew quickly and came home to join our family! She is an easy, sweet baby and we are enjoying getting to know her personality.

Sisters

Sisters
We fight one day and then the next day we're fine. We're always loud and crazy when we get together. We're very passionate. We've been through it all together, lots of ups and downs. We're eachother's biggest supporters.

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