Again, I apologize because this will be old news to anyone that follows my sisters on social media. This is a big deal though, and I couldn't not put my own thoughts into words on my own blog.
I wish I had a chance to blog when my feelings were more raw and true, but we've had one of the craziest weeks and this is the first time I've had a chance to sit down and blog.
Our family got bad news on Monday. I mean heartbreaking, world shattering news (our world anyway).
Remember, 2012 has not been kind to my family or to many of the loved ones around me. There have been deaths, miscarriages, fires, divorces, I could go on and on. Of course the most earth shattering and heart breaking event to effect my family was the loss of my Grandma Nancy after being diagnosed with cancer only 30 days prior.
We hoped and prayed the worst of heartaches were over. We were wrong.
Monday, after months of postponed and rescheduled appointments and biopsies, we finally got news about my dad's health. News we didn't want to hear and certainly didn't expect. He was diagnosed with prostate cancer. I can't even tell you how surreal it is to say that my dad has cancer.
It's one of those words that you always shake your head to and apologize to whoever it is you may be talking to going through the journey. You just never think it will effect you so closely. Not one of your loved ones, not one of your parents.
You would think we would have learned that lesson from losing Grandma this past summer. Unfortunately, that word has come back to put us on our knees once again.
I made plans to catch up with an old childhood friend for Tuesday morning long before I remembered that we would get the results to Dad's biopsy on Monday. Tuesday morning I got a message from this friend saying "I just heard the news. I'm so sorry. Do you still want to meet today?" I assured this friend that I did still want to meet with her. Especially since she knows me, she knows my dad, and she is a woman of strong faith and she believes strongly in the power of prayer. This is a friend that called me to pray with me the day she heard of our first miscarriage. She prayed one of the most amazing prayers and I instantly felt better after praying with her.
For whatever reason, this friend and I have grown somewhat apart over the past few years. Not for any good reason other than life has gotten crazy with both of us raising our little ones. But we ran into each other on Halloween night and made plans to reconnect over lunch, and soon.
I believe that God had us schedule this lunch/playdate for the day after the news for a reason. She shared with me that her mom had gotten a tumor a little over a year ago and how hard that time was for her as she waited for test results and then as she waited to hear treatment options and eventually helping her mom during surgery and recovery from surgery. She shared with me that she understands all of the emotions that come with news like this. But then she said something that really stuck with me.
She said "Don't give the word cancer too much power. Don't let it scare you. Our God is greater than that word." I took these words to heart and I believe they are so true.
I've spent the last several days processing this info and going back and forth from being okay to not okay. I go from telling myself, this is fine, Dad will be fine. He will fight this with God's help and he will be just fine. But then, honestly, I do have my moments of crying, of telling God that I can't go through it again. That I can't lose Dad the way we lost Grandma.
There is a silver lining in all of this. The good news, we caught the cancer early. We don't know exactly what the plans of treatment are for Dad yet, but we know we'll be fighting right alongside him. He has a large number of family and friends that love him and are praying for him to be fully healed from this. In the end, God is the great physician and he is greater than ANYTHING! All we can do is lean on his word and his faithfulness, pray, pray, PRAY and believe he will carry us through this, one way or another.
I love you Dad!