Missing Him

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

SO true!

Caleb has been in Belize since Wednesday and he returns on Thursday late in the evening. I knew I would miss him, but I had no idea I would miss him this much.

I just have to brag about him for a minute. He is an amazing husband. He's always been romantic and he continues to surprise me.

He left at 4:30 in the morning on Wednesday when Elliana and I were still fast asleep (although we did get a chance to hug and kiss and say goodbye). Anyway, Wednesday morning, I woke up to find my favorite store-bought cookies (mint milanos), my favorite drinks (Izzes), a note and a CD that he made. The note instructed me to only listen to 2 songs each day. It's been hard, but I've been following orders.

I just love this picture that I captured of Elliana as she checked out our surprise.



The hardest part about this trip is that not only is he in another country, but we haven't been able to communicate much. He told me that reception would be very spotty and that I shouldn't expect many calls or text messages. Although I understood this, experiencing it is another story.

Finally, last night I got a call from a number I didn't recognize. I answered it just hoping that Caleb was on the other line. Sure enough, it was him! We exchanged a lot of "I miss you and I love you"'s. Caleb is exhausted but doing well. I hope and pray that the rest of his trip goes smoothly, and that he returns home safely.

Our talk was very short, but it was so good to hear his voice. I almost felt like we were dating again. I was just so excited to talk to him. It's amazing how you take your spouse for granted until they're not around.

Yep, his absence has definitely made this heart grow fonder. I can't wait to get my arms around him.

In His Hands

I have a lot on my mind right now.

I keep reminding myself that each circumstance is in God's hands, and I just need to trust in him.

First of all, I just got word that sweet Layla Grace went home to be with the Lord this morning. She is literally in his hands now. If you have not heard about this heart wrenching story, please click on the link. I have not been able to get her off of my mind since I found out about her story.

One week from today I will be saying goodbye to Caleb for 8 days. He will be going on a mission trip with the seniors from his school to Belize. While I know this is an awesome opportunity to be used by God in many ways, I also (selfishly) hate the idea of being apart from Caleb that long. I also hate to admit it, but I'm a worrier.



I'll be spending several nights at my parent's house while Caleb is gone. It's like my sister Courtney once said, this is what all grown, adult women do when their husbands are away. Ha ha!

Seriously though, I realize Elliana is great company, but I'll also need some adult company while Caleb is gone. Plus, I just don't think I can hack it as a single Mom. Ha!



I'm really going to miss Caleb and I'll be praying for safety for the whole group and that God will use all of them in a big way.



Another huge thing on my mind right now, is a phone call that I received from my former boss this morning. I am very flattered by the great offer that she gave me and I just don't know what to do.

When I quit work back in August, I really felt that was God's leading and a huge answer to prayer. I quit for many reasons, but the main one was to spend more time with Elliana. We knew that we would be tight financially but that God would provide. And he has provided, in so many ways.

However, this morning my former boss called and said she really wanted me back. I instantly turned down the opportunity to come back working the same hours I was working before. I was working 24+ hours per week when I left, and I felt that was too much time away from Elliana. Then she said that where she missed me the most, and really needed me, was in training new employees, both on the computer system and just in general. She offered to pay me really well to just come in a couple hours, a few days per week to train people. I would only have to be away from Ellie 6-10 hours per week. I told her that was an offer that I would seriously consider. After all, even though God has provided for our every need, it would be nice to have some extra money for fun and for savings.

If I accept, I wouldn't feel at all like I am missing out on any milestones or like I am spending too much time away from Ellie. The only catch is, I don't know who would watch Ellie for 6-10 hours per week. So, there you have it. An awesome opportunity and I really don't know what to do. Again, I'm praying and trusting that God will lead me to the right decision.

Another circumstance that has been on my mind and heart a lot is this whole trying to get pregnant again thing. This has been my first month back on clomid and although it's too soon to know for sure, it doesn't appear as though it worked this month. I know that it takes several months for even fertile couples to get pregnant, and that I need to be patient. However, if the clomid doesn't work, then I don't ovulate. And if I don't ovulate, then we have no chance of getting pregnant (sigh).

Like everything else in this post, it's all in God's hands and I need to trust in his plan and in his timing. For everything.

Proverbs 3:5 and 6
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I am so thankful that we serve a God that cares about all of the details of our lives, big and small.