Here I Go Again

I mentioned in my previous post that I was faced with the dilemma of whether or not to accept an offer from my previous employer/ former boss. The thing that was making the decision so hard for me was that I'm enjoying being a stay at home mom so much, and I didn't want to let that go.

I called my former boss yesterday to ask some more questions and have her clarify what this position would look like. I'm so glad I did because the answers to those questions made my decision so much easier.

I thought that we were looking at a long term commitment, and I just wasn't ready to commit to working again, even if it was just a few hours a week. One of the best things about being a stay at home mom is the freedom we have as a family. I don't have to beg for time off for family reunions and vacations. Any time that Caleb has off is automatic family time and we LOVE it!

Anyway, she told me that I would only be commiting to a month of work. I would train some of her new employees for about a month and then I would be done. Knowing that I was only commiting for a month made it an easy yes for me, so I accepted.

The bonus for me is that I'll earn some extra money to get some things we need. Plus,Caleb and I will have some extra spending money for our cruise in June. Sweet!

I can't believe I'll be returning to work tomorrow. When I left at the end of September, I thought I'd never be back. I hope it's not too weird or awkward. Oh well, if it is, I can do anything for 1 month, right?!

In other news, we had a great day as a family today. Caleb has today and tomorrow off and then he's off to Belize. So I really cherished our time together.

The weather was perfect (welcome spring), and we were all in good spirits. Elliana was especially happy to have both of her parents around all day and to be outside so much. She loves being outside.

I guess that's it for now. Elliana's sleeping peacefully in her crib and I'm off to watch a movie with Caleb and snuggle with him on the couch. :)

In His Hands

I have a lot on my mind right now.

I keep reminding myself that each circumstance is in God's hands, and I just need to trust in him.

First of all, I just got word that sweet Layla Grace went home to be with the Lord this morning. She is literally in his hands now. If you have not heard about this heart wrenching story, please click on the link. I have not been able to get her off of my mind since I found out about her story.

One week from today I will be saying goodbye to Caleb for 8 days. He will be going on a mission trip with the seniors from his school to Belize. While I know this is an awesome opportunity to be used by God in many ways, I also (selfishly) hate the idea of being apart from Caleb that long. I also hate to admit it, but I'm a worrier.



I'll be spending several nights at my parent's house while Caleb is gone. It's like my sister Courtney once said, this is what all grown, adult women do when their husbands are away. Ha ha!

Seriously though, I realize Elliana is great company, but I'll also need some adult company while Caleb is gone. Plus, I just don't think I can hack it as a single Mom. Ha!



I'm really going to miss Caleb and I'll be praying for safety for the whole group and that God will use all of them in a big way.



Another huge thing on my mind right now, is a phone call that I received from my former boss this morning. I am very flattered by the great offer that she gave me and I just don't know what to do.

When I quit work back in August, I really felt that was God's leading and a huge answer to prayer. I quit for many reasons, but the main one was to spend more time with Elliana. We knew that we would be tight financially but that God would provide. And he has provided, in so many ways.

However, this morning my former boss called and said she really wanted me back. I instantly turned down the opportunity to come back working the same hours I was working before. I was working 24+ hours per week when I left, and I felt that was too much time away from Elliana. Then she said that where she missed me the most, and really needed me, was in training new employees, both on the computer system and just in general. She offered to pay me really well to just come in a couple hours, a few days per week to train people. I would only have to be away from Ellie 6-10 hours per week. I told her that was an offer that I would seriously consider. After all, even though God has provided for our every need, it would be nice to have some extra money for fun and for savings.

If I accept, I wouldn't feel at all like I am missing out on any milestones or like I am spending too much time away from Ellie. The only catch is, I don't know who would watch Ellie for 6-10 hours per week. So, there you have it. An awesome opportunity and I really don't know what to do. Again, I'm praying and trusting that God will lead me to the right decision.

Another circumstance that has been on my mind and heart a lot is this whole trying to get pregnant again thing. This has been my first month back on clomid and although it's too soon to know for sure, it doesn't appear as though it worked this month. I know that it takes several months for even fertile couples to get pregnant, and that I need to be patient. However, if the clomid doesn't work, then I don't ovulate. And if I don't ovulate, then we have no chance of getting pregnant (sigh).

Like everything else in this post, it's all in God's hands and I need to trust in his plan and in his timing. For everything.

Proverbs 3:5 and 6
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I am so thankful that we serve a God that cares about all of the details of our lives, big and small.

As Promised

It's been a pretty slow week around here for us.

Although some would even consider it somewhat boring, I'm not complaining. I've realized that it's the slower weeks that I spend more quality time with Ellie. On the weeks that I have a ton of errands to run, and lots of things to do, I feel as though Elliana doesn't get quality time with me. Sure, she's with me all day, but what fun am I when my mind is on other things?

I've really cherished this week with Ellie. We've read a lot of books together and just spent a lot of time playing together. I know some day I'm really going to miss this time with her. There's also a good chance that very soon our time together, just the two of us, will go down to 2 1/2 days a week (I'll give details to this later).

So, while it's been a slow week, it's also been a good one of getting to know my daughter even better.

I have some great pictures and videos to show for it. I promised in my previous post that I would update the blog with some photos and/or videos of Miss Elliana. We started putting her hair up a few times this week. She doesn't have a ton of hair, but I figured it was time for her to get used to having her hair done. My sister Jenn put Ellie's hair in pigtails yesterday. Cute, huh?!







Some of these pictures were taken with camera phones, so they aren't great. Sorry. Here she is wearing her sunglasses. She got these from her cousin Abby. She just loves them, she feels really cool when she wears them.





Elliana's newest thing is that she wants to "help" me with whatever I'm doing. She loves to help with laundry, the dishes, and even putting things away. She climbed into the dryer (with my help) when I was doing laundry. I think she thought I was crazy at first, but then she loved it! Don't worry, I would never let her do this if I wasn't watching closely, and she can't climb in by herself.





She also loves to climb into boxes and baskets. This is the toy basket that holds all of her bath toys.



This picture makes me laugh every time. It looks like she's announcing "I've conquered the basket"!



Here are two videos I took this week. I just love this girl.






Despite our slow week, we have a pretty busy weekend ahead. Friday night we're having dinner with some friends. Saturday, I'm going to a basketball game with my Dad. It's a tradition that my christmas gift to him every year is a date to a game. And Sunday, we're going to church and then my sister Courtney's house for the Superbowl. I love the Superbowl. I hate to admit it, I mostly enjoy it for the socializing and yummy food (Caleb would be so disappointed) ;).

Have a lovely weekend.

My New Job

Yesterday was my first day as a stay at home Mom!

It wasn't too different from my Thursdays and Fridays that I always had off. I did a load of laundry, balanced the checkbook, made Brownies, took Elliana with me to Walmart for some grocery shopping, made a few phone calls, cleaned the kitchen, and of course, chased Elliana all over the house! Taking care of Ellie took up most of my time. :)

It's funny, I always have a long list of things that I want to get done, and I end up finishing about half of them. Overall, I mostly enjoyed my first day with Ellie.

The reason I only mostly enjoyed it was because Elliana refused to nap.
I tried putting her down several different times and in several different ways and she simply would NOT nap! Arrgh!

She finally fell asleep (under her own terms of course) late in the afternoon when I didn't want her to nap. I let her take a short nap anyway so I could get some things done (like my bible study for one).

I'm learning that she is such a determined and stubborn person. She cracks me up! When she has her mind set on something, there is no stopping her. The napping was just one example.

I've been trying to work out in the mornings. For those of you that have never seen our house, our exercise equipment is in our unfinished basement along with our couches and TV. It's hard to explain, but the exercise equipment is behind the couches and TV. Every day before getting ready to work out I make a barricade with the couches, the gate, pillows, whatever I can find, I'll use it. I do this so that Elliana is safe to play and I can watch her while I work out.

It never fails! So far, EVERY single time I have done this, she sees it as her mission to find a way to break through and get to me and the exercise equipment. I don't know how, but she has succeeded EVERY time! So, my work outs aren't nearly as long as I'd like them to be. (Sigh)

She also made it her mission to learn how to climb the stairs yesterday. No matter how many times she fell, or how many times I pulled her away, she would make a bee-line for the stairs. She tried over and over and finally succeeded! She made it up several stairs. I think I'm in trouble.

These were taken with my phone so they aren't very clear.





Oh dear, I love my daughter but she is going to be a hand full!

P.S. Here's some pictures I took of the two of us at the park today. I had fun playing with them. These are some of my new favorites!

I Made It!

SO, the day that I never thought would come is finally here! When I put in my notice 6 weeks ago, I was told that September would be the longest month of my life- and it was!

Wednesday was my last day at work and I found myself feeling very nostalgic and I was a little teary. After all, I literally grew up at that job. When I started I was single, 19 years old, and living with roommates. That job saw me through dating Caleb, getting engaged, getting married, the struggle of my infertility and miscarriage, my pregnancy, and finally, having Elliana and becoming a Mom. The last year or two wasn't the greatest of my years at work, but I do have many good memories and I had many good years while working there.

I wrote a farewell email and sent it out to the entire office thanking them for the years and the memories. I couldn't believe how sad I was to write it. I got many very nice cards and emails in return. Tonight they are having a goodbye dinner for me and I'm really looking forward to it.

So now here I am, a full time stay at home Mom. It's what I've always wanted and I am SOOOO excited! I don't know yet what my daily, or even weekly routine is going to look like. All I know is, I don't have to worry about struggling to get Ellie and myself ready to get to work on time, or what to do if Elliana is sick, or how I'm going to make it through the day when Ellie was up all night, or pleading to have time off for Holidays, or missing out on any of Elliana's milestones, etc. I have a lot to figure out still but I know I'm going to like this. :)



Here is a video of Elliana that I took last week. She is getting around so quickly these days. I'm sure a lot of my time will be spent chasing her around. :)



Sorry, the video's not the greatest. The lighting isn't good and there's some background noise (that's the dryer).