Picture Post

I've been meaning to update my blog with some pictures and I found all of these in my camera. Enjoy!

These are some pictures of Elliana that I took in our backyard a couple weeks ago. Ellie LOVES to be outside and throws a fit when we bring her back inside.



I just love this smile!



I made my first meatloaf a few weeks ago and it turned out to be pretty good! Elliana is beginning to want to take part in cooking and baking. I just love that she enjoys doing that with me. Here she is watching and helping.

Ha! This is definitely NOT my most attractive picture. ;)





I had my hair done last week. I asked for some natural-looking blonde highlights and I ended up WAY more blonde than I wanted to be.



I was a little worried at first, but now the blonde has faded quite a bit and I'm not nearly as blonde as I look in this picture.

I'm not quite sure what this face means, but I'm sure it's just the beginning of many faces I'll be getting from Ellie. Ha!



That's all. We're really looking forward to our Easter weekend. I'll be posting about that soon.

How's it going?

Since I've had several people ask lately, I thought I would just lay it all out on here. I know some people would think that I'm being too open about this, and they would never blog about something so personal, but I'm pretty much an open book on this subject. Mostly because it's a struggle for me, and I believe God uses our struggles to show his power and also to show others how he works in our struggles. God has walked with me through each and every painful, heartbreaking, awesome, and joyful step. It's been nice to look back and remind myself of God's faithfulness and how his plan has only drawn me closer to him.

By now you're reading this and probably thinking, what in the world is she talking about?! Ha! So, what am I talking about? My journey/ road on trying to get pregnant and have another baby.

So, how is it going? Well, right now I'm seeing the glass as half full.

I didn't get pregnant last month, but I did ovulate! Praise God! I'm still on the lowest possible dosage of clomid and metformin (both recommended by my Dr. because of my PCOS). I'm thankful that my body is responding to these meds on a low dosage.

I hope and pray that we will have more children, and as long as the possibility is there with my body doing what it should, I'm motivated to keep trying. :)

On a completely separate note, Caleb survived his mission trip to Belize. He came home a little sick and extremely exhausted, but it was so good to have him home. I missed him so much!

We had a great weekend with some good, quality, family time (and time for just the two of us too). The weather has been gorgeous and I'm looking forward to the next few months.



P.S. I realize I don't have any pictures for this post. I think I need to work on taking more pictures. ;)

Missing Him

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

SO true!

Caleb has been in Belize since Wednesday and he returns on Thursday late in the evening. I knew I would miss him, but I had no idea I would miss him this much.

I just have to brag about him for a minute. He is an amazing husband. He's always been romantic and he continues to surprise me.

He left at 4:30 in the morning on Wednesday when Elliana and I were still fast asleep (although we did get a chance to hug and kiss and say goodbye). Anyway, Wednesday morning, I woke up to find my favorite store-bought cookies (mint milanos), my favorite drinks (Izzes), a note and a CD that he made. The note instructed me to only listen to 2 songs each day. It's been hard, but I've been following orders.

I just love this picture that I captured of Elliana as she checked out our surprise.



The hardest part about this trip is that not only is he in another country, but we haven't been able to communicate much. He told me that reception would be very spotty and that I shouldn't expect many calls or text messages. Although I understood this, experiencing it is another story.

Finally, last night I got a call from a number I didn't recognize. I answered it just hoping that Caleb was on the other line. Sure enough, it was him! We exchanged a lot of "I miss you and I love you"'s. Caleb is exhausted but doing well. I hope and pray that the rest of his trip goes smoothly, and that he returns home safely.

Our talk was very short, but it was so good to hear his voice. I almost felt like we were dating again. I was just so excited to talk to him. It's amazing how you take your spouse for granted until they're not around.

Yep, his absence has definitely made this heart grow fonder. I can't wait to get my arms around him.

Here I Go Again

I mentioned in my previous post that I was faced with the dilemma of whether or not to accept an offer from my previous employer/ former boss. The thing that was making the decision so hard for me was that I'm enjoying being a stay at home mom so much, and I didn't want to let that go.

I called my former boss yesterday to ask some more questions and have her clarify what this position would look like. I'm so glad I did because the answers to those questions made my decision so much easier.

I thought that we were looking at a long term commitment, and I just wasn't ready to commit to working again, even if it was just a few hours a week. One of the best things about being a stay at home mom is the freedom we have as a family. I don't have to beg for time off for family reunions and vacations. Any time that Caleb has off is automatic family time and we LOVE it!

Anyway, she told me that I would only be commiting to a month of work. I would train some of her new employees for about a month and then I would be done. Knowing that I was only commiting for a month made it an easy yes for me, so I accepted.

The bonus for me is that I'll earn some extra money to get some things we need. Plus,Caleb and I will have some extra spending money for our cruise in June. Sweet!

I can't believe I'll be returning to work tomorrow. When I left at the end of September, I thought I'd never be back. I hope it's not too weird or awkward. Oh well, if it is, I can do anything for 1 month, right?!

In other news, we had a great day as a family today. Caleb has today and tomorrow off and then he's off to Belize. So I really cherished our time together.

The weather was perfect (welcome spring), and we were all in good spirits. Elliana was especially happy to have both of her parents around all day and to be outside so much. She loves being outside.

I guess that's it for now. Elliana's sleeping peacefully in her crib and I'm off to watch a movie with Caleb and snuggle with him on the couch. :)

In His Hands

I have a lot on my mind right now.

I keep reminding myself that each circumstance is in God's hands, and I just need to trust in him.

First of all, I just got word that sweet Layla Grace went home to be with the Lord this morning. She is literally in his hands now. If you have not heard about this heart wrenching story, please click on the link. I have not been able to get her off of my mind since I found out about her story.

One week from today I will be saying goodbye to Caleb for 8 days. He will be going on a mission trip with the seniors from his school to Belize. While I know this is an awesome opportunity to be used by God in many ways, I also (selfishly) hate the idea of being apart from Caleb that long. I also hate to admit it, but I'm a worrier.



I'll be spending several nights at my parent's house while Caleb is gone. It's like my sister Courtney once said, this is what all grown, adult women do when their husbands are away. Ha ha!

Seriously though, I realize Elliana is great company, but I'll also need some adult company while Caleb is gone. Plus, I just don't think I can hack it as a single Mom. Ha!



I'm really going to miss Caleb and I'll be praying for safety for the whole group and that God will use all of them in a big way.



Another huge thing on my mind right now, is a phone call that I received from my former boss this morning. I am very flattered by the great offer that she gave me and I just don't know what to do.

When I quit work back in August, I really felt that was God's leading and a huge answer to prayer. I quit for many reasons, but the main one was to spend more time with Elliana. We knew that we would be tight financially but that God would provide. And he has provided, in so many ways.

However, this morning my former boss called and said she really wanted me back. I instantly turned down the opportunity to come back working the same hours I was working before. I was working 24+ hours per week when I left, and I felt that was too much time away from Elliana. Then she said that where she missed me the most, and really needed me, was in training new employees, both on the computer system and just in general. She offered to pay me really well to just come in a couple hours, a few days per week to train people. I would only have to be away from Ellie 6-10 hours per week. I told her that was an offer that I would seriously consider. After all, even though God has provided for our every need, it would be nice to have some extra money for fun and for savings.

If I accept, I wouldn't feel at all like I am missing out on any milestones or like I am spending too much time away from Ellie. The only catch is, I don't know who would watch Ellie for 6-10 hours per week. So, there you have it. An awesome opportunity and I really don't know what to do. Again, I'm praying and trusting that God will lead me to the right decision.

Another circumstance that has been on my mind and heart a lot is this whole trying to get pregnant again thing. This has been my first month back on clomid and although it's too soon to know for sure, it doesn't appear as though it worked this month. I know that it takes several months for even fertile couples to get pregnant, and that I need to be patient. However, if the clomid doesn't work, then I don't ovulate. And if I don't ovulate, then we have no chance of getting pregnant (sigh).

Like everything else in this post, it's all in God's hands and I need to trust in his plan and in his timing. For everything.

Proverbs 3:5 and 6
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I am so thankful that we serve a God that cares about all of the details of our lives, big and small.

My Two Cents

I realize I'm probably the last person to blog about this. I'm sure many people have already blogged about the oh-so-disappointing Bachelor finale last Monday night. I just wanted to add my two cents and also add that overall, I'm hugely disappointed in some of my favorite TV shows this year.

Okay, first of all, The Bachelor. Are you kidding me Jake?
1) How could you pick Vienna, especially when you had some quality women to choose from (Tenley)
and 2) How could you state that you were "following your heart"?
I think it was quite obvious to the entire world that you were following something else.



I had a paragraph here that I decided to take out because the more I read it, the more I realized how seriously judgemental I sounded. I really don't like when I come across as judgemental. I am still disappointed in this last season of The Bachelor, but as far as Jake goes, it's his life and he can choose to spend it with whoever he wants.

After seasons like this one and the previous Bachelor, I have to ask myself why I still like this show. I'm not sure. I guess I just find it entertaining even if the outcome is disappointing. I'm sure I'll keep watching anyway. ;)

And then, there's American Idol. It's not that I've necessarily been disappointed in anything, it's just that I usually have a "favorite" by now. Someone that really sticks out to me and someone I can root for. This has been the first year that we've been this far into the season and I don't have a favorite.



Oh well, I guess there's still time. I do have a few that are beginning to grow on me. I guess I'll just have to stay tuned as they say. I'm sure someone will become one of my favorites soon enough.

And last but not least there's The Office. This has been up and down for me this season. It started out very low on the scale. I think my feelings toward the show changed when Jim became a co-manager. He was way too serious. He is a much better character when he doesn't care as much about his job. I also just really didn't like who Jim and Pam were becoming. I was all but ready to throw in the towel on The Office.



But, in recent weeks, the show seems to have taken a turn for the better. How could you not want to follow this favorite TV couple?



The last few episodes have been like the old Office and I am loving it! Last night was one of the best episodes I've seen in a long time. Caleb and I laughed. a. lot.



It was kind of scary how real and accurate the episode was. It brought back a lot of memories for me and Caleb when Elliana was first born. I think if I had seen last night's episode before having Elliana, I would have been terrified.

Ah, it's so good to have the old Office back.

As much as I just vented about all my favorite TV shows on here, I still enjoy watching them. Even when I am a little disappointed in the outcome of a season. In the end, I'm going to watch the shows anyway.

I guess you can say that these TV shows have me hooked, for better or for worse.

Shoot.

Not Even For A Minute

There's something very scary about seeing your 14 month old walk into the bathroom with her hands covered in blood.

This was how my day started today.

Elliana just woke up so I picked her up out of her crib and brought her into the bathroom with me. I had to use the bathroom so I set her down and she walked away.

This was not unusual, she usually plays while I go to the bathroom. I wasn't at all worried because we've spent a lot of time baby-proofing our house, and I thought we'd done a pretty good job. There really isn't anything she could do to get hurt.

Anyway, after she walked away, she came back into the bathroom only a minute later and her hands were covered in blood and she had blood near her mouth. The odd thing was she wasn't crying or scared. She just held her hands up to me as if to say "what is this stuff"?

I tried not to show panic, but inside I was totally freaked out. I quickly scooped her up, put her hands in the sink to wash them, and tried to find where the blood was coming from. After cleaning her up I discovered that the blood was coming from her index finger. There was a lot of it.

Finally, I was able to get a band aid (or two) on her finger. Now it was time to investigate what happened. I followed the blood on the walls from the bathroom into the kitchen (there was a line of blood where she ran her hands along the walls).

Here is the really odd and scary thing. I was never able to figure out how she cut her finger. Not a clue as to what happened. Other than the blood on the walls and on her, there wasn't blood anywhere else. Not anywhere. I didn't find a knife, a staple, glass, anything.

I am happy to report that after bleeding through several band aids the bleeding did slow down and eventually stop. It turned out to be a pretty minor cut. It just amazes me how even the most minor cuts bleed. A lot.

All I know is, I learned a hard lesson today that no matter how baby-proof our house may be, I can't let Elliana walk off on her own. Not even for a minute.

Since we had a rough morning and since the weather was SO beautiful today, I walked Elliana to the park by our house. Here are some of my favorite pictures from our trip to the park:

I think she looks grown up here. When did she get so big?!


Here she is doing her favorite thing, swinging. She couldn't keep her eyes off of the other kids at the park.


She actually did a great job climbing the steps.


Here is a picture I took of the two of us.


These are just some fun pictures I took of Ellie earlier this week. She seems to be changing so quickly these days. She makes so many great faces.





These last two are some of my new favorite pictures of her.


Doesn't this face just scream mischief? ;)


Anyway, I'm happy that spring is so close. It felt so good to spend some time outside today.